I think that many of you are probably like me and getting a bit tired of the circus that has become American politics these days. Every where I turn I see another article about some new pathetic insult Cruz has thrown at Trump and how he has responded, or some new scandal Hillary is allegedly involved in, and there is a lot, seriously, a lot. I can’t help but wonder to myself, “These are my choices for President? What the hell happened here?”
This election cycle reminds me of one of those fast food commercials where the burger and fries look amazing on TV, but when you purchase and see the actual food it looks more like something that was thrown together by someone clinically depressed and who’s favorite phrase is “whatever man”. Of course that could just be because they are thirty two years old and still working in fast food, but that’s another post. Basically, we are being sold a greasy bag of horrible food and simultaneously being told to eat healthy, all with a smile. I’m sorry folks, this is simply not good enough! Not for me at least.
So what do I do? Do I vote for who I think is the least worst? Do I do nothing and go back to watching Youtube for the rest of my life? Honestly, I’m not sure how to answer these questions. I do know, that I’m not buying what is being offered. Republican or Democrat, what’s the difference. They are both just a different shade of crap right now, and they’re stinking up the room. Man, Youtube is looking mighty tempting.
Let’s close our eyes for a moment and imagine what it will be like when one of these candidates is elected Predisent because that is a reality we all need to start accepting. What do you see? Feeling warm and fuzzy yet? Not me. I see Trump having a Presidential temper tantrum cause Putin commented on the dwarfism of his hands. I see Hillary laughing off yet another “ridiculous allegation” that she may have accidentally leaked confidential information through the use of her personal email server (yeah it still hasn’t gone away). Cruz is having his lipstick and hair retouched, while rehearsing Bible verses, before addressing the nation. And Bernie is bumbling and mumbling his way through another college campus visit, on his “Feel the Bern 2.0” re-election campaign. Okay, open your eyes now, that’s enough. Eeesh that was scary.
I hate to be this negative, but I’m kind of out of options at this point. I can’t be one of the excited Bernie Sanders cheerleaders. I can’t be one of those hat wearing Trump fans. I can’t trust a candidate that doesn’t seem to understand how vulnerable emails are. There is not much positive about any of these candidates. It’s like we are picking teams for a flag football match and we are down to the last five choices. Except this is for the most powerful position in the country. Kind of sad really.
I don’t know if this is how any of you feel, but I can’t be alone. Figuring out how to cast my vote on election day is going to be tricky. Of course, I could always just run through the local drive-thru window and buy that delicious new burger I keep seeing on TV, but it will probably leave me feeling the same as voting for one of these candidates. In reality it will probably be a game time decision that sees me in the polling booth eyeing two names and quietly singing my favorite Stealers Wheel chorus:
Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you